Joe Kickass

interBLOG :(

2010-08-04T00:15:00.000-07:00

sorry fellas no internet til next week - BLOG

The BLOGbacks

2010-07-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

This is phase 2 of BLOG's Revivial! and to commemorate such a monumental occasion, todays episode will be broadcast in 3D!

Now to the posting and whatnot.

To start off, BLOG is heartbroken to report there was a horrific Playne crash at Parramatta Stadium today, destroying all bandwagons found in the car park :( such a tragic loss, it was unfortunate as these bandwagons were only 4 weeks old, merely in their foetal (feotal?) (foeutal?) (dno) stage of development.

NOW onto the funny bidness. recently it has come to BLOGs attention that toilets in the southern hemisphere flush anti-clockwise, and toilets in the dirty north flush clockwise. SO WHAT HAPPENS AT THE EQUATOR! unfortunately, those unfortunate enough to reside on the equator have to deal with the fact that if they ever use a toilet, THEYLL BE FLUSHED DOWNWARDS!

also i think its cool how BLOG evolved to including pictures now, high tech and all.

SECONDLY: BLOG has decided its time to play hard ball with his hard balls, and is INSTIGATING, not just starting or offering or proposing, but INSTIGATING war on "caution wet floor" signs. HOW DARE THEY! i myself, as a tax paying citizen (one day ill eventually get a tax file number) expect the right to see ppl fall over and humour myself.

THIRDLY: james le's calves have a black belt in keeping it real

FOURTHLY: to whoever invented that song "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar," i know little primary school kids around australia sing that song like its some sort of game or funny joke, but brother, i know how u feel. ill find whoever stole ur cookie and we will show him the CITY OF PAIN up in here!

FIFTLY:now to end on a lighter note - trangsformers 2 is such a cool movie, i like the part where optus prime says trangsform and roll out. too bad there wasnt a sidekick named bumble-3

actually wait we'll end on an even lighter note, heres some comedy for ya'lll!

Will the real BLOG shady please come back?

2010-07-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

yeeeaahhhhhhhh booooyyyyyyyyyyyy

BLOG has undergone months and months of surgical re-constructions to his already abnormally large humour gland, and has decided its time to post shiiiitttt again.

first order of business for the day will be to address BLOG's absence. for u see, BLOG felt on top of the world during his short lived rise to fime, and thought itd be funny go on holla-days. unofrtunately some funny lookin fellas named SANDU and RRR decided to beat his face in :(.

but luckillyyy, what doesnt kill BLOG only leaves him in a 7 month intensive care unit facility!

secondly, i have recently acquired this facebook bidness, and it is definately the most addictive thing i have ever used. in the future if my academic life fails miserably i can at least now, thanx to the many wonders of technology, rely on selling facebook on street corners to little kids looking to get hooked on the hard stuff. big cash money bidness right there

also, in order to stop BLOG from dying out, BLOG invested in all kindsa cool gadgets like bulletproof vests and whatnot, not going anywhere ever again. yum yum

Sherlock BLOGs

2010-01-14T03:21:00.000-08:00

9000 views huh, i beleive its time BLOG returned for about the 7th time. but maybe itll return for real this time

anyways...

2009-11-25T02:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Counciller,

As a member of council i think that you should make a law that states 'people cant copy other people and sell it as their own'. Cos today i was walking down the street and someone copied someone else and i was like"HEY, thats not very funny" but then the copycat was like "HAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAA look at me im kingshit im the coolest guy alive". Then the person who was victimised by the copycat went home and told his mum about the horrible day he had. Then his mum said "this copycat also seems like a hypocrite"

blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-11-02T00:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Councillor,

It has come to my attention that the rubbish collector men often skip my house and other houses along my street. I believe that these rubbish men are indeed, rubbish men. It is your responsibility, as a member of council, to ensure that all people contribute to the community.

Another burning issue is Dennis Ferguson living two minutes from my house and a child care centre. Be reasonable and get rid of this character. I can safely say that i speak for all of the community when i say, Dennis Ferguson does not belong here. Please remove Mr. Ferguson, or Dennis the Menace as my mum calls him, from our community and hook him up with a house elsewhere.

I would also like to point out that there needs to be a police station in beecroft. My house has been broken into 3 times this week and the old lady across the street called the police but by the time the police had driven from Eastwood to Beecroft, the criminals had already boarded a plane to mexico. Excuse the hyberbole.

Do something about these issues

Yours sincerely,

Roofus McDoofus

BLOGlys

2009-10-24T04:01:00.000-07:00

yeeaahh yearlies are over! and although many ppl are stressing over how they went, i on the other hand am completely confident that i got 104% in each subject except maths, english, commerce, geo, history and any other yearly tests we did. so to celebrate my amazing academic acheivement i celebrated by throwing each and every one of my books in the bin. quite a wise carreer move on my part if i dotn say so myself.

on the other hand, i was watching supernatural the other day and then there was this crazy yellow eyed demon who bleeds into childrens mouths and then when they turn 21 they become evil and start killing shit. luckily, i saw sam and dean kill the YED and so if u exhibit paranormal powers at the age of 21, i am sorry to inform u that i know how to and will be forced to kill you.

in good news, school certificate only requires 20% to passs!!!! i thought it was 50%, so this cuts my work into 2.5ths, leaving me 30% more time to have fuuuunnn. life is coool when theres no more tests. happy holidays everyone, year 10 is officially finished.

BLOG - p.s this is a joke not my real opinion

2009-10-14T02:23:00.000-07:00

u may feel angry at BLOG as he promised to post more yet went on yet another hiatus, almost as if he doesnt even care about his readers. but fear not! he was on a top secret mission to acquire intelligence on a super secret scientific study to post about!

and after 2 whole weeks, BLOG can now reveal... all chicks are murderers.

have u ever heard someone say "ohh yeah wear a suit, chicks dig that" or "duuude nice hat, chicks are gnna dig that." ITS CAUSE THEYRE TRYING TO KILL YOU!

u see, why else would chicks find the need to dig everything? its because they have killed so many of us males they just automatically start digging stuff, as they are always digging graves for their prey.

on another note, or maybe it was a parchment, this "study" guy that everyones in love with, he sure does suck. study isnt even a real friend, where is he when we dont have tests? NOWHERE. where is he when we're having fun? NOWHERE. where is he when we're sad? HES THE REASON WE'RE SAD. there i think we should all break up with study immediately (Y)

one more thing, anonoymous posters are really coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. u guys are so funny, it makes me cry at night that i can be so bad at life while u guys rock out. i one day inspire to be an anonymous poster, but u need a 99.95 minimum ATAR for that :( the world sucks

2009-10-12T02:11:00.000-07:00

Id just like to point out that bikram gill is a genius ;)

BLOG of the Carribean

2009-09-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

so anyways i was thinking, whats up with proverbs - are they stupid or what

"too many cooks spoil the broth"
although ia gree it is true, its a bit stupid because even having one cook in the broth would make it taste disgusting. imnot sure about anyone else, but i quite enjoy broths that do not have dead cooks inside. so i, bikram gill, am officially changing the saying to "dont put any cooks in the broth please"

also what about that other one, "you just wanna have your cake and eat it too."
people of today disgust me, how could anyone have their own cake, AND eat it too. just stop being so inconsiderate and selfish, next time, have your own cake, and then throw it in the bin.

and thirdly i think ppl are doing wayyyy too much studying for their own good. im not lazy, im a visionary, and i have sized up the situation well. u see, i realised that by doing absolutely no work all of high school so far, i have completely eliminated the chance of being burnt out. so when everyone else is on fire from doing so much work, will cruise through high school and become president of the world. (ill become prime minister of australia, and then buy every other country ;D , dont tell anyone though)

fourthly, lately my car broke down. and like everyone else these days, i decided to buy a bandwagon. it sure does get me around parramatta quickly.

BLOG

2009-09-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

recently BLOG underwent a surgery of his brain and was not able to post for a while, but luckily hes feeling good now and has re-learnt how to talk!

so, without further ado, i, BLOGGUS McBLOG, would like to talk about picnics. not the lovely grassy barbeques or the sitting with friends or the cooking of meat, but the chocolate named picnic!

now, even though picnic is ugly, and looked a lot like poo, i always enjoyed hanging out with him, often putting him in my mouth as a sign of friendship. i would continue to chew until i could chew no more, and then swallow my dear friend. he may not have been pretty, but i loved being seen with him, just his integrity of managing to be rather big even though he was called "fun sized".

and then it happened. picnic sold out :(. the once large, ugly, tasty picnic i called my friend decided to go from"fun sized" to "i need a microscope and tweezers to eat this ugly peice of shit sized".

which brings me to my next topic. friends. not the ppl u hang out with, but the tv show. nah jk i never watched that tv show. but that DOES bring my to my third topic...

i have been following this new hippety hop thing called "myspace" and "facebook" and i have realised that these things are rather falsely advertised. u see, i have seen countless others use this phenomena of "myspace", yet i have never actually seen anyone own a section of space. if i was to create an acocunt, which section of space would be mine? would i be able to own jupiter? on the other hand, this "facebook" doesnt actually seem to offer me a book of faces, i was distraught after signing up only to find out that "facebook" was actually not even a book! jk i dont have facebook.

and fourthly, BLOG IS BACK! again.

2009-09-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

I wish people wouldnt bandwagon. Its pretty annoying how random ppl just say "EELS FTW" when theyve never even supported the eels in their life. There are like 3 ppl on my msn list with "GO EELS" and ive never heard them mention the eels ever before. Bit of a coincidence now isnt it? And on facebook all these little kids come out of no where cheering every try that parra scores. Please piss off. And congrats to all the real parra fans your team's doing okay.

2009-09-17T02:32:00.001-07:00

coooooooooooooooool
is
bikram
deep
gill

2009-09-06T04:42:00.001-07:00

WE LOST but dont worry we didnt wanna win its okay we were just being nice

2009-09-05T00:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day. The whole season comes down to tomorrows game, if we lose we are out and if we we win we live to fight another day.

PANTHERS VS KNIGHTS

BLOG

2009-09-03T00:04:00.000-07:00

hey everyone, im BLOG, and im back!

i was actually gnna post a lot more, but then i decided id play hard to get, so that all the other blogs would love me. but they dont :(

anyways i realised that hungry jacks is actually a phony. unless jack was at least 500 kg and 3 metres tall, there is no way he could eat a whopper, double whopper, ultimate double whopper and top it off with a cheeseburger stunner deal and a chicken tendercrisp, and still be hungry! DONT LIE JACK!

also, i dont have a lot to say, so to sum everything up...

NO NAUGHTY THINGS ...... !

the past (BLOG)

2009-08-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

haha this idea was stolen from trangs blog, im out of things to write for now

BLEEG

2009-08-16T01:23:00.001-07:00

i think its time we all put the sheep saga behind us. were it not for the sheep of the world, there would be no alternative to cows milk, as goats would be depressed from not having any girlfriends.

also, sheep contain a certain chemical known as eric owusu seksy-as-hell, making them more prone to being unquestionably sexy and beautiful, almost like us baulko guys.

so from now on, no matter how ugly, tall, short, sexy, fat, skinny u may be, when someone calls u a sheep, what theyre really trying to say is "ur a sheep, can i please be ur goat?"

and all is good.

in other news, whats up with the 7pm project. it SUCKS! get off my tv, that guy that sits in between mrs hot lady and mr angry face isnt funny at all, i think he should be given the death sentence now. such heinous acts against humanity, its sickening to think that we've come down to a society where people with curly hair are allowed on tv. just sickening.

also, has anyone other than me realised how shit this BLOG is now. well its because of that curly hair guy! BLOG was sickened by his attempts at being funny, or should i say, attempted murder, since every time he talks ppl would rather jump in a blender (i tried it). BLOG was so offended he ran into the nearest farmhouse and covered himself in pig poo, and to a lesser extent, farmer poo. now, instead of farmer wants a wife, channel nine is about to start the new program called farmers wanna drive. as in, farmers wanna drive to bikrams house to read BLOG!

and ummmmm thirdly, dont really have a thirdly, but itd be cool if i did.

BUT i dooo have a fourthly. so, fourthly, has anyone noticed how the "nrl scandal free zone" in the newspaper isnt really effective, because instead of having scandals on the back page of the newspaper, theyre moved to the FRONT!

and ummmmmmmm thats it for today, tomorrow and most likely the rest of the week for me, hopefully someone else will post

bye

6 posts in one day

2009-08-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm supposed to be doing an english essay but i can't concentrate which is why i'm blogging randomn shizza.

So yeah, have a jolly good day

Blogy's gonna do it!

2009-08-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, we can. Yes, we can change. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yse, we can. Yes, we can...No, we can't.

So yeah, have a jolly good day

Blog off!

2009-08-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we get told we dont post enough so today im gonna go crazy and post as much as I can.

Blogjob

2009-08-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

I'm just curious. If u read this blog can u please leave a comment. I just want to see how many people actually read the blog cuz we have like 50 million views and then like 3 comments. So if u could leave a comment then that would be frekin awesome
Cheers

blogy's gone all soggy

2009-08-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

Its funny how dheads change like every efing minute. One moment they're like ur a dhead and the the next moment they're like i love u brada. Stop efing doin it, its pissin me off.

So yeah, have a jolly good day

2009-08-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

I like grass. Grass taste yummy for my tummy. I have many uninteresting friends who I follow around in a single file 24/7. On the weekend i got a sheer from my local sheerer. This is pretty much my whole life, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh

Hungry BLOGs

2009-08-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

i think we baulkoo guys are cooooooooool.

so what if we're a little woolier than normal guys, and so what if we have to use shearers to get haircuts, and does it really matter that all we do is eat grass and follow each other in single file?

abolsutely not!

and also, one day as i ventured through my farmhouse, saying hello to my chicken friends and cow buddies, i realised, having glasses sucks.

i once had a friend, who had glasses. he became so depressed and angry at the world (mainly because he was a duck but had always dreamed of being a sheep instead, but the glasses also played a part) that he decided to get... LASER EYE SURGERY!

so there he was, excited as a sheep about to eat hay, when suddenly he thought to himself, "I DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE!" and proceeded to eat his glasses. after he finished eating them, he ate some hay. then after that, he made his way to the laser eye surgery clinic.

BUT OH SNAP! what he didnt realise was that he walked into the wrong shop. without his glasses, he failed to realise that what he thought was the "laser eye surgery clinic" was actually the "raise her high burglary dimwit" shop.

as he got called up to the kew, he felt slightly wierd and perplexed as to why he was being suspended 60 feet in the air, whilst all his witts were being sucked out of him. then after the surgery, he was left with no witts, and become dimwitted.

whilst driving on a bridge, he thought to himself, "its quite hot". so then he decided to jump off the bridge and into the pacific ocean. as he nearly drowned, he suddenly dived up into the air to find out that he was actually a dolphin the entire time, and that his eyesight was perfectly normal underwater.

so the moral of the story is, dont wear glasses unless ur a dolphin.

ps, is anyone doing bio? and if so, what lines?

BLOG

2009-08-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

lately this BLOG has become somewhat crap. its not my fault, i was just looking away for a few seconds and then someone stole it and put it in a blender, along with a toilet, and now BLOG has adopted a poo-like consistency.

i thought to myself, CRAP! then i thought to myself, maaan am i hungry. then afterwards i thought to myself, meh i cbb eating, might as well go unblend this peice of poo. so here i was, stuck, trying to figure out how to unblend the un-unblendable.

BUT I FOUND THE ANSWER!

just as all hope seemed lost, i withdrew to my oldest and dearest friend, tv, for emotional support. as i cried on his shoulder, and as a result suffered minor electrocution burns, a burst of light caught my eye. literally, the burst of light jumped out of the tv, and grabbed my eye, and then punched me in the face.

then, while i was knocked out, i had a dream. a dream where black people, and white people, and sometimes even the eskimos, can work together as one. and thats when i realised im actually martin luther king.

and then, as i awoke from my deadly slumber, and looked in the mirror, i realised, IM NOT MARTIN LUTHER KING! im actually cinderella! but that makes BLOG the evil twin sister, and kfc the fairy godmother.

so in conclusion, i actually didnt find a way to uncrap this BLOG, so its just gnna be really crap. for a long time. possibly forever.

P.S can everyone just make their blogs crapper than my BLOG so it seems cool again, would be very appreciated. and for the 2-5 ppl that still read this, maybe 9 at the most, just tell all ur friends this is where the parties at. the party actually got moved to another blog named riff rough rangas huffin' weed (srsly someone needs to laff at that, it was quite amazing), but yeah, we can pretend like the parties still here.

Pictures speak a thousand BLOGs

2009-08-03T02:33:00.000-07:00

With my good friend school back in my life, ive found it hard to post.

Todays post will be on the issue of friends. we all know how bad it can be to feel like theres no-one that cares about u, so heres some sure fire tips to make u THE popular kid.

1) if ur having difficulties on public transport, just hijack the vehicle. this way, when the police catches u, u'll be sitting in a car full of ppl who want to find out everything about u, just like real friends.

2) if u find out u never seem to have friends at the playground, just pee on all the swings and then blame it on the second least popular kid. this will now make him the very least popular kid in the playground. repeat as many times as necessary until u become the most popular kid.

3) if ur having trouble with girlfriends, just turn gay.

4) if ur having trouble with boyfriends, ur already gay.

and nooww, since i havnt posted in so long, heres some pictures.

Put me down woman! I'm busy reading BLOG!

PLEEEAASSE TAKE ME BACK HOME! I MISS BLOG!

UPDATE BLOG MORE OFTEENNNNN!!!!

HAPPY BDAY FUZZY

2009-08-01T19:29:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday fuzzy. You're a freaking legend.

Joe BLOGass

2009-07-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

today id like to talk about insecurity. i know all about insecurity, as i grew up on the mean streets of claremont meadows. they wernt mean in terms of bullyingness, but it was a pretty average place to live in. unfortuntaley, many ppl today are effected by insecurity, which can lead to anxiety, cardiac arrest and perhaps even spontaneous human combustion.

luckily, i have the answer to all of everyones insecurities !

1) if ur insecure about ur weight, just cross out the number on the scales and write ur own one down. this not only makes u feel less weighted, but if u fake it long enough u will actually make being a skinny human being! also, this constitutes as exercise, as the rigourous amount of energy it takes to bend down and write stuff can power 16 homes for a lifetime.

2) if ur insecure about ur lovelife, grab a picture of ur favourite celebrity, photoshop urself into it and draw a big love heart around it. show this picture to all the hotties u wish to date, they will become so driven by such jealousy that they will immediately fall in love with you. conditions apply, including but not limited to: person may not actually fall in love with you (but at least a celebrity love hearts you right?)

3) if ur insecure about the security of ur home, just go out one night and rob urself. this way, u will no longer have a home, and wont have to worry about the security of the aforementioned place of residence. also, if u are looking to share a room with a stranger but are unsure of their trustworthyness, simply move in with a turtle. the turtle shell will keep u very safe, and u have a nice green friend to play with. naturual phenomena: these types of houses are known to shift 1 metre a day, so be careful finding ur way back home.

4) if ur insecure about whether u should read this BLOG or not, just read it anyway.

i beleive i have covered every aspect of life with this post, and i will hope to see a lot of
in-insecure ppl as a result of it. if not, please, just buy a lock and drill a hole into any part of ur body and put the lock through it. ur insecurities should now be secured (Y)

goodnight

Michael BLOGings

2009-07-25T04:28:00.001-07:00

today i would like to post about god. i love god, and i hope that in time, god will also love me.

god, however, has recently changed his name, and walks, or should i say runs among us everyday, at lightning speeds.

his new name is Michael Jennings, and his current address is 14 cua stadium drive, penrith panthers avenue.

one day michael jennings was on his daily jog, around the universe, and i stopped and said heyy whattup MJ. he looked at me, and as soon as i looked into his eyes, a part of me wanted to become gay so that i could be in love with michael jennings.

then 3 days later, i saw michael jennings and said whattup snoooop dawgy dawg, and he said nothing much, just busy scoring 10-15 tries, and i said, man ur so sexy, how sexy are u? to which he replied "so sexy it hurts"

after that, all models were judged on a scale from 1 to michael jennings.

3 days later again, michael jennings, in a peculiar move, decided to stand still for a whole minute. i seized this opprtunity to stand beside the great man, but was immediately blown away by his almighty presence. as soon as i got up, i realised my hair was on fire! i dived into what i thought, in my state of dellusion, was a pond. but i accidentally dived into the pacific ocean! maybe even the atlantic ocean! luckily for me, michael jennings dived into the pacific ocean, maybe even the atlantic ocean, as well. he swam down to the very bottom and started running at hsi jogging speed (the speed of light) and set the whole pacific, maybe even the atlantic, ocean on fire! i was saved.

i love you michael jennings

BLOG Town

2009-07-22T03:38:00.000-07:00

whats up with shadows man, theyre so annoying

like the other day, i was just waving, and then my shadow starts waving! and then when i stop, he stops! wtf bro, sif copy me all the time.

i thought my shadow was the only one being mean, so i kicked it a couple of times, and he kicked himself too! he doesnt feel pain at alllll!

anywyas then i realised, everyones shadow is copying them, so please brothers and sisters, let us all unite together and bash the shadows! they are whats stopying us from being original and un-conforminant, or any other variation of that word.

u see, original recipe chicken was once all that ppl ate at kfc, until the original recipe chicken had a shadow! named kfc potato mashies - and this shadow, like all other shadows, SUCKED!

anyways, i think we should all form a community, or maybe even a society, and if humidity permits, a union. this community/society/union will work together in order to put an end to these copycats known as shadows!

2009-07-21T23:30:00.001-07:00

duuuuuuddeeee theres like 4 days of holidays left!

i havnt done anything at allllllll im so bored and i have so much work to do and i hate schooooooool

goodnight

BLOGgie Nights

2009-07-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

i think ppl are too mean to hobos

hobos are still brothers, they just smell bad and have big beards, but u know what, i think its a good thing. i think we could all learn from hobos.

lets live like we were meant to, shower-less, brushed-teeth-less, smelly, beardy men and women.

once i went to high school with hobo mchobo and calvin klein and tommy hilfiger. we 4 were the very best of friends, but then i had to leave and go to the great land of baulko. i went back to my old high school many years later to find out that Calvin Kleinex and Tommy Hillbilly became super hot and had many girlfriends, and left hobo mchobo behind. hobo mchobo now had no friends, and although he was super smart, he became too depressed to do anything, and then later became a hobo.

i went to visit the hobo named hobo mchobo the other day, and it made me realise, we shouldnt be so mean to hobos.

sure, they might not be Calvin Climb or Tommus Hill-arious, but they're still hippety hop at heart, and i think thats all that should matter.

BOOOOOOO!

2009-07-19T04:34:00.001-07:00

Masterchef is full of shit

Half BLOG Prince

2009-07-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Duuuude, today i was just walking around, and then i realised my childhood friend was in not just one, but six movies! and 7 books!

me and harry potter used to chill out and be cool together all the time,

once when i was little i was just playing around and then dracula malfoy came and bit my face off and said "thats what u get for being black!"

but then my good buddy harry potter, or harry-potimus as he liked to be called, came and said "dracula malfoy i hate u cause ur blonde and im hotter than u and emma watson is my girlfriend!"

after that dracula never bothered me again

and this other time, harry potter was all being coool and what not and then this girl was like hey harry poo-ter, do u want my phone numberizzle for shizzlle?

and then me and harry cheered and i said HARRY GOTT-'ER (got her)

anyways now harrys off being cool with ron and emma watson, so im friends with barry trotter now

goodnight

BLOG night round 2

2009-07-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

well seeing as everyone decided its not cool to use msn anymore, im gnna post here

life lesson number 4

or 5

things we take for granted:

scabs - dudeee, i have spent many hours of my life waiting for my scab to harden, only so i can pick it off. its extra fun when you pick it off and the wound opens again forming another scab.

the little table inside the pizza box - if it wasnt for this invention, not only would we not be able to make mad dog pyramids out of them, our pizza would be crushed and taste like cardboard.

teeth - we'd have to eat with our gums, and make disgusting noises while we eat and everyone would be like wtf mate shutup but then when they try to eat they make digusting noises too and then everyone else is like wtf mate shutup

abbreviations - dude how else wud we be able 2 say wtf w/o soundin like a dbag in front of every1 yo, every1 wud be all like yo bro this dood is whak lets all laff at him trynna act all kewl be swearin LOL. n e wayz i gtg, ttyl tc bb gnight cya

proper english - WHO WANTS TO SOUND LIKE THAT! (see above)

pockets - if it wasnt for these, we've hve to put our wallets, phones and HANDS in our BUMS!

bums - what would we sit on

school - haha just kidding

bLoGring ?

2009-07-13T04:55:00.000-07:00

BLOG had to go away to therapy for a while, cause he felt sad cause eveyrone called him boring.

but then he realised, hes not boring, hes awesome.

example 1: BLOG went to the mardi gras to show the people of the world that he doesnt discriminate,

but on arrival all the chicks were like wtf why are we not with him? i wanna be with him. i think ill be wiht him now, goobye.

yes, BLOG is so awesome, he can convert ppls sexuality.

example 2: one day BLOG made facebook, but a single book is no where near enough to contain BLOGs awesomeness

example 3: BLOG is friends with bikram, cant much cooler

example 4: OHH SNAP, it got cooler! BLOGs so cool he actually makes ice freeze.

therefore, keep reading BLOG please

transform and roll out

BLOG

2009-07-10T01:13:00.001-07:00

does anyone read BLOG anymore?

BLOG Trip

2009-07-02T01:57:00.000-07:00

today i realised that this BLOG is sick.

not in the sense that its dying...

but cause its FULLY SICK BRAHHH!

anyways havnt had a life lesson in a while... lets talk about.... school

please stop lying to me,
everyday is NOT a great day at (x)
in fact, everyday is a shit day at (x)

one day school went to the mall, and everyone was like aye bro i dont wanna shop here theres poo on the floor

then school went to... the beach. while school was bodyboarding, eveyrone else jumped into the water and was like ewwwwww bro this waters brown and smells like poo, school must be around

then afterwards, school was like, hey im gnna go to the movies now. he sat at the front, and covered the entire screen, and then everyone else was like, this movies crap! (they could only see school, and not the actual movie, and thought that the movie was literally 1 and a half hours of a still image of poo)

all in all, i wish the holidays would just start so i could be happy, or maybe the canteen would turn into mcdonalds, which also make me happy. even better, the canteen should turn into kfc, and colonel sanders himself should unveil his latest masterpeice, for who wouldnt wanna go to Kentucky Fried Chicken ( Feat. BHHS).

in case certain evil monsters from outer space, or teachers as they are formally known, read this, id like to re-assert the fact that this BLOG is completely jokeative and shouldnt be taken srsly, and by taking it srsly ur just proving that school has no sense of humour, making school a wedgie.

2009-07-02T01:26:00.001-07:00

I Agree

2009-06-29T05:37:00.000-07:00

i really hate school.

school is shit

We'll Miss You MJ: The one and only King of Pop (August 29 1958- June25 2009)

2009-06-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

I thought it was only fair that we celebrate the life of a Legend with this tribute video:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I hope we remember MJ for his music and impecable dancing skills and not for the controversy surrounding his life. This is a great loss.
Sorry Bikram this Blog is ment to be a funny but it would be an insult to ignore the life of Sir Michael Joseph Jackson

King of BLOG

2009-06-26T03:43:00.000-07:00

r.i.p michael jackson,
may you moon walk up the escalators leading to heaven

once a black man, always a black man (Y)

BLOG of Origin 2

2009-06-25T01:47:00.000-07:00

it was all the refs fault, its been the refs fault for 4 years

dw though boys and girls, may i introduce the future heroes of the

New South Wales State Of Origin Blues

good times are only a year away :)

BREAKING NEWS

2009-06-21T03:44:00.000-07:00

this is a joint post by murali and bikram to announce that...

CSFI is back babbbbyy !

BLOG Diamond

2009-06-17T00:36:00.000-07:00

being tired sucks.

if the sun didnt get tired, the moon wouldnt have to wake up, meaning we'd have daylight all the time, so we can do whatever we want.

if the summer didnt get tired, winter would never come, and toilet seats would be warm all year round.

if the holidays never got tired, we'd never have to go to school. and if we didnt have school we wouldnt have tests, and if we didnt have tests we wouldnt have reports! ( I am no longer in the bottom 30 !)

if microsoft never got tired, computers would have been invented in the pyramids, so that the pharoas could create a blog and reveal the secret to the pyramids, or the aliens that built them.

if captain planet never got tired, captain pollution would never be able to create global warming. although i seriously think global warming started when murali was born... cause hes so hot!

if the dinosaurs didnt get tired of living, they would still roam the earth, offering free taxi service to humans in an era of lame transportation. trains and buses suck, everyone should be riding terrordactils.

if only i could find a way of being awesome 24/7, because sleeping really puts a halt on things. if i didnt sleep, i could be awesome for another 8 hours a day, 12 on weekends.

yes, my next life goal will be to create a sleep machine, that allows me to sleep while being awake.

No Country For Old BLOG

2009-06-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

todays BLOG will be of utmost importence, and will not be funny one bit.

u may want to go run and get some tissues now, because u may end up crying after reading this.

i have currently run out of ideas, and will be leaving BLOG temporarily to pursue another carreer.

FEAR NOT!

i will return at least once a week, because the people of BLOG come first.

when BLOG was first born, and i held him in my arms, i experienced a sudden glow, almost as if a saviour was born, and unlike john conner, this saviour did not completely suck.

BLOG provided us with many laughs, made us happy when we felt down, made us warm when we felt cold, made our skies sunny when god made them grey.

BLOG told me once, i love u like a bro bikram.

i love u too bro

p.s i think murali and sid will be posting like once a week as well so its all good

p.p.s since murali has decided to become all deep, u'll now find us at the deep end of the pool with the big boys, as we threw our floaties away and left the shallow end

u think u know bigger words than us? think again

2009-06-12T05:13:00.000-07:00

None of the following words are made up and believe it or not I know the meaning of every single on these words. Using big words on blogs isn't going to get ur english mark up so why do it? If u think ur blog's smarter than ours because u use big words then ur wrong. We know tons of big words.

PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS--------bet u dont know what that means

HEPATICOCHOLANGIOCHOLECYSTENTEROSTOMIES-------beat that!

HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPEDALIAN------how about this

FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION--------or this

ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM ---------this proves im smart

HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS----------up urs

Never forget the entertainment and love that animals give us

2009-06-12T04:33:00.000-07:00

i swear i didn't do it

do i know you?
YEH BABY!!!
I love rock and roll

The Day My BLOG Went Psycho

2009-06-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

what is this new trend of being puntuational on every form of internet. its not gnna make u any better than anyone else if u use full stops and quotation marks (we know how lame quotes are) and capital letters. the only form of punctuation i beleive are respectable is the exclamtion mark, used to show excitement. here is an example of the appropriate use of a !

person a: heeeeyyy bro did u read BLOG

person b: yeah bro!

notice, even though person a is asking a question, he remains cool as he did not use a ? at the end.

person b shows his love for BLOG, and actually increases his level of coolness by 3% with the correct use of the ! function

the moral of todays story is, its not important whether u dot ur eyes or cross ur tea's, what really matters is...

do u read BLOG

(notice i kept my coolness without using a question mark)

How to BLOG a Guy in 10 Days

2009-06-10T04:35:00.000-07:00

as other blogs have shown us guys the way to get chicks in ten steps, ill show u how to get a guy in 10 days

Day 1: tell the guy u like him

Day 2-10: go out with aformentioned guy

Day 10-infinite: repeate step 2

u now have a boyfriend, well done

So You Think You Can BLOG?

2009-06-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

Boredom.

boredom is so boring. if boredom was a person, he'd probably just sit by himself all day, not talking to anyone whilst being boring. i once met boredom, but my body couldnt handle it, and instead converted it into pure awesomeness.

for those of you who dont possess this ability, i have some handy helping pointers for u...

1) if youre bored in a elevator, try closing your eyes and pressing any button. if you happen to press the alarm, the security guards will come rushing in, which means you'll have a few friends to talk to.

2) if youre about to go into a really boring class, give yourself a wedgie beforehand, and see if you can pick it out whilst seated without anyone realising.

3) if youre bored in the toilet, read k-zone. k-zone provides a very unbias view on the world through the eyes of very wise and magical people known as elves. these elves, or children in the english language, know everything, and are often EIGHT whole years old.

4) if youre bored at home, move into your neighbours house. when he kicks you out, you'll be glad to be home again

5) if youre bored in an aeroplane, try skydiving, however there may, aka will, not be any safety gear. this is very fun and often leads you to a better place ;)

6) if youre bored of this blog, theres something wrong with you.

7) if youre bored of eating the same food, pick out every single thing in the fridge and cupboard and place it in a blender, creating a wholesom, nutritional meal

8) if youre bored at work, tell your boss hes fired. when he proceeds to fire you, you wont have work, and will now be bored at home (luckily we've got solutions to that too)

9) if youre really bored, look at all of my posts. you'll realise all the heading are popular tv shows/movies, with the word BLOG somewhere in them. try figuring out the real title of the show/movie for each of them.

10) if youre bored of being single, fold yourself in half. you should now be double, or half, depending on how you look at it.

11) if youre bored of being bored, read our blog.

bikram gill

Get back to reality!: Sid

2009-06-08T05:08:00.000-07:00

It seems as if many of us have now started making goals about what career path we're going to take. Well let me bring you back to reality.
No one gives a shit about what job ur gonna do in the future and you're only around 15 years of age so dont get your hopes up. You think your smart and you think your life is gonna be great but unfortunately thinking doesn't do shit. When it comes to the doing part we're all like, "oh im tired I'll do it tomorrow". Well if you keep doing that your not gonna get anywhere. Like I said you may think your smart and intellegent and bright and whatever your kindi teacher told you but there's a few million retards out there just like you and not all of them get what they want.

Get back to reality. There's no such thing as "perceived reality". Its all bullshit.
Excuse the swearing. Sometimes we have to swear to get the message across.

BLOG Me If You Can

2009-06-08T00:57:00.000-07:00

Inspiration.

IS OVERRATED!

who says i wanna wake up in the morning and feel like i have a purpose. why does my life have to mean something. therefore, im going to say, inspiration is holding the human race back.

see if there was no inspiration:

schools would not set tests. (you may say, well how does that hold us back? it makes us smarter right? WRONG. tests, although seemingly innocent, are actually sucking your brains out while you sleep)

people would not think of quotes. "and then we wouldnt use these stupid symbols every time we feel like being inspirational"

people wouldnt bother cleaning anything, making our senses more and more powerful until we evolve from humans into apes, which is actually the direction the evolution cycle should have been going.

people wouldnt think of scary stories, making our children feel safer.

INSPIRATION SUCKS!

BLOG at the Museum: bgill

2009-06-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

LIFE ISSUE:

Drugs.

people are too mean to drugs these days. drugs was probably just some nice kid in high school, trying to get on with his life and make a few friends here and there. but then people started bulling drugs, so he decided, you know what, i want revenge. after saying this drugs started taking control of peoples lives and to this day, haunts our youths.

IF humans were nice to drugs in the first place, all of our youths would be hooked on happiness and laughter instead of heroine.

IF humans were nice to drugs, the third little pig would have built his house out of marijuana, so that when the big bad wolf huffed and puffed, he became high. then the pigs and the (now) big good wolf would have been best friends, often playing golf together.

IF humans were nice to drugs, Hitler might have shaved his moustache, the real source of his power.

IF humans were nice to drugs, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow might have existed.

If humans were nice to drugs, drugs would be nice to humans.

Therefore, id just like to say. drugs are really bad, stay away from them at all times, and also needles are scary as so seriously, if you do drugs, just stay away from me or i might start crying when i see those sharp needles.

My First Post

2009-06-04T00:55:00.001-07:00

Hi my name is Sid and this is my first post ever. My morale at the moment isn't great and i've completely lost my self esteem so this post may not be the coolest. Sorry folks. What I've noticed in the past few days is that people aren't reading Bikram's blog too often so he's added two wingmen to boost this blog's popularity.

Okay enough of the introduction now lets make fun of someone. Hmmm how about that dipshit spanish retard who's known worldwide for picking his ass, Nadal.
Here's a picture of Nadal hard at work

Note: The muscles in his right arm tense as he vigorously stuffs his finger up his ass.
There are only two reasons which can explain this rare phenomenon.
1. He's got a hairy asshole which regularly needs to be massaged or
2. He's wearing a G-string
Either way you look at it the guy's a retard and if u like nadal then ur a retard.

I'll have more serious life issues later on so stick around cuz if ur read this blog ur cool. BYE

WINGMEN REVEALED

2009-06-02T05:09:00.001-07:00

In a surprise twist of events, me and my fellow wingmen have agreed it is time to come out of hiding, as the police scanners all over the world have malfunctioned and they can no longer find us!

without further ado, i bring to you

SID AND MURALI

BLOG of Origin

2009-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

Beleive it or not, there are 2 people in the world who are actually more awesome than me. today, im putting aside everything else, and will instead dedicate this post to honouring the aforementioned awesomer-than-me people.

LUKE LEWIS

When i was just a little boy, my dad took me to the panthers home game, held me in his arms, and said "son, i love you like a son, but i can never love you as much as i love luke lewis." to which i replied "amen."

Caption: GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'm going home to read bikrams BLOG!

MICHAEL JENNINGS

Again, we will delve deeper into my early childhood. although the details may have been lost in translation (from english to english), as i recall, the events proceeded like this. i was just a little kid, crawling around all day with poopy in my diaper. then all of a sudden, i got up and took my first steps! my mum came running in, jumping for joy. yet my dad stared me down coldly and said "son, youre an embarassment. michael jennings can run around the universe and stop at every single KFC store in the world in -24 hours (he runs so fast time goes backwards)."

Caption: YESSSS!!! I READ BIKRAMS BLOG!

I hope one day i can be awesome like them.

WINGMEN REVEALED TOMORROW, STAY TUNED!

T2: BLOGment Day

2009-06-01T00:42:00.000-07:00

First of all, id like to say that seeing as this BLOG is awesome, its only right for me to say thankyou to everyone that reads it, because part of being awesome is giving back to the people that make this BLOG awesome.

Secondly, those with inside knowledge on my future wingmen, especially the ones named tammy, please show off as much as possible about knowing this super awesome secret, but dont tell anyone :)

Thirdly, heres your clue...

both are in our grade, at our school, and both are awesome.

HAHAHAHA. sorry cant narrow it down too much, all will be revealed on Wednesday night, when not just one, but BOTH wingmen will reveal themselves, LIVE, with their respective first posts.

Due to the Wingmen reveal, i've decided to put all life issues on hold in order to not explode this blog with too much awesomeness at any one time. life issues will return thursday night!

Mystery BLOG

2009-05-31T03:22:00.000-07:00

As you may have come to realise, my BLOG is completely awesome.

However, the task of keeping it awesome is too big for one man alone (even one as manly as myself).

Which is why i have travelled far and wide to recruit 2 new members, whom are of euqal awesomeness.

However, due to legal reasons, i cannot name the 2 people yet as the police will hunt me down, seeing as having 3 people as awesome as us in the one BLOG would create utter chaos with the sheer amount of coolness we radiate, often causing an epidemic of cancer wherever we go.

Stay tuned, these mystery men will be revealed over the next 3-4 days!

Autralia's Next Top BLOG

2009-05-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

Today i changed the skin of my BLOG, go me. im so smart. before i talk about todays important life issue, id like to talk about my BLOG's new skin.

i like this skin because theres a giant teddy bear holding a bomb, and a cloud vomits out a rainbow. even though this is very childish, there is an underlying message in the images, because everyone knows that pictures cant just be pictures. the fact that the cloud vomits out a rainbow, to me, suggests that the cloud ate a very bad lunch, and then washed it down with a series of paints. this shows that society is so hungry, we'll eat paint for fun.

the teddy bear holding a bomb over a group of buildings shows that, even without opposable thumbs, a bear can still hold a bomb. in fact he doesnt even have a hand, so i guess it must mean, the creator of the picture is giving his views on life by saying one day in the future we'll have superpowers and be able to hold things without hands, very grim indeed.

TODAYS LIFE ISSUE:

nah im tired, shows over.

TOMORROWS LIFE ISSUE WILL BE MEGA IMPORTANT!

BLOG Meets World

2009-05-30T05:03:00.001-07:00

This is my blog. My blogs the best because I express my emotions through an artistic style of writing. I also know big words.

Big Words:
ELECTROENCEPHALOGRAPHICALLY
ANTITRANSUBSTANTIATIONALIST

Man im so good. Once i travelled to, like greece or something, and i used all these big words, and everyone was like "damn hes so smart i wanna be his friend, okay ill be his friend, yeah hes my friend now, im the best, im friends with such a smart guy, he talks about life and important issues and politics, cause hes 15 years old and hes obviously experienced everything there is to experience in life."

nah that didnt really happen, i just wanted to look cool. speaking of cool, i think its really cool to talk about important things. like i read on some other blogs i should appreciate what i have. so from now on, ill appreciate EVERYTHING

List of things to appreciate:
hair
toenails
fingernails
nails
screwdrivers for the nails
every aspect of life

This is the end of my post, but ill have more serious life issues to talk about later.